Wishcasting Wednesday 09/09/09

What a beautiful date. I just love seeing written out like that. Anyway...

What do I wish to learn?
Keeping it to three is going to be interesting. Learning, to me, is sacred. The day you stop, you die. I mean, really. Don't you find new ways every day to breathe, to think, to move? And the day you think you've learned enough.....
I'll tell a story and then get to my wishes....

We visited my elderly (tells people he's 92, we checked, he's 94) and ailing grandfather this past weekend. It was a beautiful visit. We arrived on his birthday (refer to above comment) and celebrated with him. I cooked, we ate, he talked. And we....listened. That is the most healing thing that we can do for other people sometimes, don't you think?

So that's my wish # 1: To learn to LISTEN. Not just listen. To HEAR. And do so with patience, compassion, and without forming a subconscious "game plan" like I tend to do. I'm a fixer, and sometimes I lose sight of the fact that some people don't need to be FIXED, they need to be HEARD.

He vented and vented...and then we went to bed. When we woke up the next morning, he was in a much better mood. Seemed...healthier. I don't know if it was that he was eating good food (I pour all of my love and healing properties in what I cook and create. I am a kitchen witch, and it is nice to come out of the broom closet), or if it was that someone was generally spending time with him, but it was a noticeable. Which leads me to my second wish:

Wish # 2: Lean to be HERE NOW. Just spending time is a beautiful thing. Leaning to spend time without an agenda, without making plans, learning to shut down this wired little type - A brain of mine. I notice (and I hate it) that in the afternoons, I'm cooking or doing something OTHER than spending time with my daughter. These years are speeding by, and I SO don't want to miss them. Be Here Now.

We were all really disappointed that we couldn't stay. Paw Paw almost cried and so did I. I know that he doesn't have much time left in this flawed little physical world. He's not sad. I think, before this weekend, that he was ready to go. When we got there Saturday he made a comment about us just dropping him off at the bone yard. Ouch. He told us we needed to go through his house and take what we wanted because when he's gone no telling WHAT will happen to it. He talked about being ashamed at how little he is left with. I couldn't put in to words that I wanted no possessions from him, no tangible things can even come close to the love and strength that he has gifted me with my entire life. From him I know I have a HUGE amount of backbone, wit, laughter, (ahem) smart ass tendencies, and a thirst to...do. Go. See. LEARN.

Wish # 3: I wish to learn to ACCEPT. There are things in this world I cannot change. Many things. My grandfather is dying. I accept this. He has had an amazing, spectacular, crazy long life. And he LIVED it every second. I ACCEPT that I can do that, too! It MUST be done. There are questions with no answers and riddles that will never be solved. I will learn to ACCEPT this.....but never stop questioning.

My grandfather called my mom to tell her what a wonderful time he had during our visit and how much he loved spending time with Linden (little spitfire direct descendant, I'd say). And then he told my mom... I guess I DO have things to live for after all.....

I will learn to listen and hear! I will learn to be here now! I will learn to accept but never stop questioning!

I appreciate what I have! The wealth of knowledge to be gifted from those around me and then added to the wisdom of ages that resides inside me is infinite, and I love it all.

Whew! I'm tired from that....lol